I think I found "it."

I used to write all the time and the start of a new blog was about being in my first real real relationship.  I knew it was real,  as we were departed I got very emotional.  I was in Love.  I learned what it felt like to be in love.   I’m sure the person who I dated wouldn't mind me saying this.  I learned there were differences, between us and the world.   I am still good friends with him.   We had a little commitment.  It took place at a blockbuster in a Nissan Altima  We were to be one together (a monogamous)  and if we broke up we would still be friends.   I stand on that end of my commitment.  It will always remain just friends.  Hell, he is still one of my best friends.   I stepped out of my “sheltered christian university life:”I wanted to do live a normal teenage life before I aged. then I came back down to  We broke up on good terms.   It took a moment to get over.  

I am still not working,  my doctor still I am to.   I wish I could have taken that 911 job.  My doctor was like Hell No, that would be too much on me.  So I work at home for my family.

The reason I am writing this,  as you know I never told who I dated or was talking to after all this time I think I might have found someone who is genuinely themselves we share a lot in common all the way down to the roots for our liking of Coldplay.  I honestly quiver when I get a SMS or an get on my mind finally, someone has stepped forward. I’m ready to embark

Love Peace and Prayers

J.A.M

Morning Thoughts.

I am up at 6:42 am.    Not really sure what to talk about.   

I sat somewhere earlier this week and faced reality. In the parking lot of a Wal-Mart.  I know what needs to be done to make me happy.  It came out perfectly, someone talking to be and Shutter Island.   I took the plot from that movie how DiCaprio was “living as someone who he wasn’t”.  I sit and look through my glasses looking for perfection.  I never found it, to say the least.  Then I realized, i’m wearing glasses because I can’t see perfection.  

So, I placed super high standards for myself.  I do not intend to let them down.   I am just changing how I see them.  I learned a lot from “iBeauprofen”.   

Funny story,  I was wearing my Abercrombie and Fitch shirt and the lid was not closed all the way on my latte and it got all over.  I got so pissed I chucked it at the trash and there was a person over there.   I was like oops my bad.  (he worked there).

I have been saying I cannot find that “thing”, the best way to describe it is.  That thing. That moment. You kiss someone and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing for the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it, and so scared that it will all go away.  Sadly, I don’t think I have found it.  

Good Morning All!   

Justin  M