A Critical Update.

I have been so confused for the last few days on what I want to do and questioning the actions that have taken place.  I have been extremely busy getting ready to go back to school.  I am sure and made the definite decision I am going back to school.  I am just afraid I am going to have a overload and have anxiety attacks.  I going to admit a issue that has been on my mind.  I have been feeling alone; I am not a co-dependent person.  I live an independent life.  I want someone there I could call and they could come right over.  It seems like most of my choices in my area code are deranged; or it must be me?   All I ask for is a decent person that is looking for a long term committed relationship.  I have learned that no one is perfect and I know I need to allow flexibility because I cannot marry myself.  I am just missing that someone that will make my life complete.  

With Love, Peace and Prayers

Mr. J.A.Morgan 

My Thoughts Part 1

If I were to have big change how could I do it. I am already loosing weight, I loosing it naturally.  My body reacted to a medication(s). I will admit when you can afford the med’s you will by them.  I slap a bitch crazy if they think a medicine is going to change them long-term. it takes willpower from the person. 

One more smile I fake

And try my best to be glad 

One more smile does the maker make

Because he knows I'm sad

Oh Lord, how I know

Oh Lord, how I see

That only can the maker make

A happy man of me 

Later on...

Today, was fun.   I went to Wesley's house and had fun.  I tried to run down a hooker. I beeped my horn and turned down the side road.  Wes’s got scared and was like “GO GO GO GO”  

I have a ton of Media from the night I will have to edit some of it before I put it up.  Occupational sensitive material.   

I can broadcast live video from my location if I am getting any EV signal. Gaston County has almost 100% Wireless High Speed 3G.  Gaston County currently 4G in select areas. 

Someone texted me and told me my house was right down the road from the river, and I live near  Duke Energy’s McGuire Nuclear and how I need an evacuation plan.  I said... All that matters that I get electricity and this month it’s $107 that good when the average home consumes $155 this month and to leave and drive south.  I am super blonde when it comes to stuff like that.  My home is eco-friendly! It just takes energy to cool my home to a constant 64 degrees, but in the winter i change I like it about 76.   I start to think my computer has the energy star thing. They say it uses less energy to run than a light bulb.   I feel good about the computer. 

  

Off to bed...  Nighty Night. 

Changes in Management

IMMEDIATE RELEASE- Tuesday, June 22, 2010

To: Employees; J.A.MORGAN LOGISTICS, PARTNERS and CUSTOMERS.   

Subject: Changes in Management 

Well, I have made my decision, I am going to go back to school to better myself.  I am going back in the Fall of 2010 (August 2010).  I am going to spend this last month making sure my business is in good hands. I am not going to juggle both of them like I did before.  I can assure you that everything will be in good hands.  I will still will be able to make the final say on important decisions.   

I will keep you up to date on every change that occurs.  My commitment of transparency will not be hindered during this change of management.  I have set up a number you can call, a representative will be able to assist you 24/7 with any questions.  You can find this number on your online portal (IBM Websphere) or on your next bill.  Every change will be posted on Websphere.  No one will be negatively impacted on this transition. 

My employees are my backbone and if any situation arises that you need to speak with me, please do not hesitate to call, I will personally get back with you within a reasonable amount of time.  I will still attend meetings through telepresence.

Thanks for your hospitality and understanding,

MR. JUSTIN A. MORGAN

President & CEO

Finding Tomorrow. Synchronizing Today 

Official Decision on Future.

It’s hard to start a new blog. I go through so many “entries” before I decide to post one.  Normally they are too personal.  Right now, I am evaluating my health and seeing if returning to Gardner-Webb would be possible.  My last semester I was overwhelmed, and my doctor advised me it would be best to take a “break” from everything.  I think I am doing more than I ever did at Gardner-Webb.  I just need the motivation to back me up.  I spent my last semester on pain medication and the effect it had on me was in the morning I would wake up unbelievable pain.  I had to reach for the medication and I would go back to sleep if I had to take it during a class I will be fading in and out.  I think it would be rude to go to class and drowsy.  Then I just basically gave up after I missed so many days.  The healthcare appointments kept  me busy and I had to miss so many classes.  I had to see healthcare in my insurance network they would be in Gastonia to Charlotte (Over 60 miles away from GWU).  Now I see my doctor on three month intervals.  I can schedule it on a friday afternoon or days off; if I know 3 months ahead of time. I do think I can be successful in future semesters at GWU.

With Love Peace and Prayers

J.A.M.

Chapel Hill and Relationships

I didn’t understand,  The brand name Advil (Ibuprofen) was the same price as the Walgreens brand price.  Random moment.   

Today, I made it to UNC (University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill).   With with the intention on meeting someone and seeing how life is at bigger institutions. I don’t want it to seem like I am trashing this dude; I will be honest this dude is way more intelligent that I.  He is geared heavily toward school, i’m the one to take a semester off and “rest”.  I did originally take off of school because of a close family members health condition.  I am going through healthcare issues right now also.  Everyone at the school was literally running to be somewhere.  I am use to the laid back feeling at GWU.  

Before you ask,  I drove the Maxima 3 hours away, and can you believe it didn’t mess up at all.   The Maxima can go over 100mph (don’t ask).   I kind of made it 2 hours and 10mins.  I left, I got all the way to Concord Mills to get gas.   Car went 373 miles on one tank.  I drove 700 with beau even tho he drove back from the beach.    

I cant find my Flat Rate boxes and I don’t want to deal with the (bad word) lady at the post office.  

It just seems like I cannot find anyone that is compatible with me.   This is all I could think of on the way back home:

I dreamed a dream in time gone by 

When hope was high and life worth living 

I dreamed that love would never die 

I prayed that God would be forgiving 

Then I was young and unafraid 

And dreams were made and used and wasted 

There was no ransom to be paid 

No song unsung, no wine untasted 

But the tigers come at night 

With their voices soft as thunder 

As they turn your hope apart 

As they turn your dreams to shame 

And still I dream he’d come to me 

That we would live the years together 

But there are dreams that cannot be 

And there are storms we cannot weather 

I had a dream my life would be 

So different from the hell I’m living 

So different now from what it seemed 

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

With Love, Peace and Prayers

Mr. Justin M

I think I found "it."

I used to write all the time and the start of a new blog was about being in my first real real relationship.  I knew it was real,  as we were departed I got very emotional.  I was in Love.  I learned what it felt like to be in love.   I’m sure the person who I dated wouldn't mind me saying this.  I learned there were differences, between us and the world.   I am still good friends with him.   We had a little commitment.  It took place at a blockbuster in a Nissan Altima  We were to be one together (a monogamous)  and if we broke up we would still be friends.   I stand on that end of my commitment.  It will always remain just friends.  Hell, he is still one of my best friends.   I stepped out of my “sheltered christian university life:”I wanted to do live a normal teenage life before I aged. then I came back down to  We broke up on good terms.   It took a moment to get over.  

I am still not working,  my doctor still I am to.   I wish I could have taken that 911 job.  My doctor was like Hell No, that would be too much on me.  So I work at home for my family.

The reason I am writing this,  as you know I never told who I dated or was talking to after all this time I think I might have found someone who is genuinely themselves we share a lot in common all the way down to the roots for our liking of Coldplay.  I honestly quiver when I get a SMS or an get on my mind finally, someone has stepped forward. I’m ready to embark

Love Peace and Prayers

J.A.M

Morning Thoughts.

I am up at 6:42 am.    Not really sure what to talk about.   

I sat somewhere earlier this week and faced reality. In the parking lot of a Wal-Mart.  I know what needs to be done to make me happy.  It came out perfectly, someone talking to be and Shutter Island.   I took the plot from that movie how DiCaprio was “living as someone who he wasn’t”.  I sit and look through my glasses looking for perfection.  I never found it, to say the least.  Then I realized, i’m wearing glasses because I can’t see perfection.  

So, I placed super high standards for myself.  I do not intend to let them down.   I am just changing how I see them.  I learned a lot from “iBeauprofen”.   

Funny story,  I was wearing my Abercrombie and Fitch shirt and the lid was not closed all the way on my latte and it got all over.  I got so pissed I chucked it at the trash and there was a person over there.   I was like oops my bad.  (he worked there).

I have been saying I cannot find that “thing”, the best way to describe it is.  That thing. That moment. You kiss someone and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing for the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it, and so scared that it will all go away.  Sadly, I don’t think I have found it.  

Good Morning All!   

Justin  M

I Learned...

There are just something’s I will always conjecture.   There is never enough time for me to think.    My life has changed dramatically from where it once stood. 

I had time to cogitate; I am single and I am ready to talk.   I had to take some time to decipher some things.    I don’t remember the exact date, it happened around the time someone had a critical health issue in my family.  There is just one thing about it that I can’t understand.   There was no meltdown; it was like a mutual thing.   I did commit to him that would always remain friends with him, and I will not fall short of that.  It like it ended perfectly, I will admit I do miss him from time to time.   I don’t look back at it as a tragedy; I look back and realize how much I accomplished.   I stepped so far out of my comfort zone.  I lived a “teenager’s” life.   I did things, I would have said oh hell no a year ago.   I changed as a person; I was taught how to live a happy life.   I think it deserves a song.  Alive and Amplified- The Mooney Suzuki.   The song>>>> Right Click and open in a new window

Life right now it not at it’s best, but I am not about to let it bring it down.

But, I learned all things start with a dream.

So, What will I dream today?   

With Love, Peace and Prayers, 

Clueless.

So, what could I possibly be doing at 1am on a Tuesday night?,  I think it means I am bored as can be.  It reminds me of that song....  “I go walking after midnight- Patsy Cline”.

Let me go over today. 

My car needed a new battery somehow a “cell” went out in it.   Well we had just got it,  Went to the AutoZone,  I had to take my computer because,  I only keep critical documents everything else is PDF’ed and saved and backed up.  I had to carry that battery in, I about died doing that.    Weight to volume ratio was bad and I had to get a cart.   Anyway, I am with my “assistant” and she was doing her thing.  The man tried to do this thing where he would keep the battery for a few hours and charge it and I come back.  I said “If you think I am leaving here with no battery you crazy, if you think I am leaving here with the same battery you need help.  Now, lets look at the reciept,  it says 24 Months Product Replacement.”   I said “I got the battery in July and its January that is about six months.”  I got my new battery.  haha. 

Then I went out to lunch.  I love the Cracker Barrel while waiting for the food, I was on the phone with Gaston Eye Associates.   They do not cover one of my insurances and don’t accept my particular plan they to accept. 

I love the CB.   They got this grilled chicken with cheese and bacon. 

After that I went to the Verizon Store to change my plan and pay my bill.  I have a good friend who works there.  I love her to death.   I switched to the unlimited calling plan.  

I went to office max, the cheapest paper shredder is $44!  It’s tax time it’s time to shred documents.  I never throw away paper with an account number on it or my SSN.   People NEVER carry your SSN= SOCIAL SECURITY CARD in your wallet or purse keep it in a safe place.   If your wallet/purse/murse or hooker purse gets stolen your identity is gone with it.  I couldn’t decide on a printer because they like all do the same thing. 

I got the Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack...I love the acoustical songs.   

I am going to create a Amazon Wish list for you all b/c my birthday is in March so you can get proper financing (if needed) haha.  

Someone in my super extended family died and they just had her service today.   I just know she was 6 and got meningitis and died and it basically the decision came down to “unplug” her because she was showing no brain waves.  She was my step mom’s mother sisters grandchild.

With Love Peace and Prayers

Justin

2010

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

11:39 P.M.  

I wrote other blogs, but they were “lost” because I never could finish them.    Eventually I will post them with the right date so check back for updates.  

The first thing I want to say is... I thank god I made it this far.   2010!  Today is day number 7,227 of me being alive.   It will likely change by the time I post this blog.   (7,228 now) haha

I want to take a moment and reflect on 2009.  Normally, I don’t look back at the past but I see it now as a learning experience and why not go back look at the great things in mind that came true .  

1. Falling in love and Resulting in a relationship.   Hands down I couldn’t predict this. There are many accolades to this.   I remember our first date at Scarowinds and our first kiss. (my “lifestyle” has a benefit at GWU... hah)  
2. Became Unleashed-  Stepping out of my comfort zone- I can attribute this to number one.  I have never traveled out of my area alone.  I traveled out of state and over 700 miles in a weekend (both ways). I have done things that I look back and am like “OMG!”
3. I had no car accidents or tickets.  haha!   (I have never had a accident that was my fault)
4. I survived a serious health condition and made a 100% recovery. I will give Caromont Health- GMH Emergency Department-  a thumbs up. I am here because of them.   
5. Helping the homeless and my GWU orientation Freshman-  They were awesome.  
6. Opened up to different lifestyles and different people. 
7. “My little girl has grown up.... (tear)”....  Don’t ask haha.  

I have great things in mind for 2010.   I will 20 in less than 3 months!.   (Remember that).    

Love, Peace and Prayers,

Mr. Justin A. Morgan